An Oppressive Society: Setting the ‘Norm’
The discriminatory treatment of non-monogamous people is a significant show of oppressive behavior in our social world. Non-monogamy is held to be the behavior of insatiable social deviants. That many people feel an immediate discomfort, disdain even, for the personal choices of others is a conditioned response that social agents have learned in order to reproduce the dominant social relations of the specific space and time they inhabit. The oppression of alternative sexual and intimate lifestyles reflects the hegemonic idea of how our existence ought to be lived out filtered down to social agents from a plethora of social structures. This statement finds evidence in the numerous laws that enforce the monogamous nuclear family. From tax breaks for families to laws that illegalize certain intimate and sexual behaviour between consenting adults, our social structures sanction social action so that it replicates the dominant social norms. Agents internalize these structured norms of behaviour and mindlessly reproduce it by ridiculing any social activity that strays from the centre of accepted social principles. Each degree of separation from the dominant model of social behaviour is sanctioned through the marginalization of difference. The system is able to increase its reproductive ability by limiting the voice of dissent from the mainstream. In the absence of these marginalized voices, a communication gap develops between those that offer an alternative to dominant modes of thinking and those that are entrenched within it. This communication gap then breeds conflict between various social groups. Suffice it to say that our society is not accepting of lifestyles that deviate from its defined state of normalcy.
Capitalism, Monogamy, and Marginalization
What monogamous relationships essentially accomplish is the bureaucratization of social relations at the personal level. It mirrors our relationships as they are organized in the workforce, among other social structures. There is thus a hierarchy of emotional commitment amongst members that separates us from one another. The more distance between members of society, whether it be friendships, intimate and sexual partnerships, business relations, the less likely the possibility for interaction between members. Monogamy facilitates control in our society through the creation of apathy for the strange. Apathy for the strange is a breeding ground for the self-interest that liberal thinkers have taken for granted as human nature. A significant effect is a breakdown in communication and cooperation, between various social groups in any given community, a breakdown that may occur both globally and locally.
To state the most relevant case, there is segregation between men and women to varying degrees in many, if not most, societies. The institution of monogamy regulates who may talk to whom, when they may talk, in what manner they are to communicate, etc. Consequently, the ability for men and women to participate in meaningful dialogue outside of specific designated areas, where such dialogue is tightly controlled (most notably the workforce) is severely disconnected. It should be noted here that because this segregation between the sexes is coupled with patriarchical domination, women bare the brunt of miscommunication and their voices are more likely marginalized from the public domain. Society as a whole suffers since it is partitioned into a sort of sexual apartheid, and as a result oppresses a variety of inputs integral to its healthy functioning.
Non-Monogamy and the Challenge to Domination
When social bonds in society are reduced and fragmented, people have a diminished capacity to act together toward a common goal. Non-monogamy relations go beyond the structural barriers that exist between social groups by promoting communication between them outside the designated time and space. They challenge the hierarchical nature of interaction between groups and individuals that hold different positions within the relations of power. Intimate bonds are an extremely powerful means of facilitating cross-identity relations that, I believe, can aid in a society’s capacity to accommodate social differences so that all members of any given community may exert their social influence upon their environment.
Any alternative, if considered with a critical rigour by social agents, represents a threat to the dominant culture. New ideas, by their very nature, contain a transformative quality. New ideas change people and people have a capacity to change social structures as a result. Non-monogamous relations, it follows, should be embraced, not necessarily practiced, by anyone with the desire to create a positive social change.
Note
The argument here is not to say that monogamy is inherently a reflection of other social structures. Nor is it an argument for the demonogamization of society. It is merely a critical treatment of the consequences of the institutionalization of monogamy in certain societies as the only form of accepted sexual relations. It is one of my most deeply held beliefs that the oppression of difference is to the peril of all people.
